Discouragement | Photography Journal

Yesterday afternoon I got my camera out and was feeling so inspired by Emma's cuteness. How could I not? I started clicking away and really felt like I was getting into a good groove. I finished up and with excited anticipation I hurried to load my pictures onto the computer to see how they turned out. And as I was clicking through I just kind of became more and more disappointed. These were NOT how I had pictured the images in my head when I was taking them. So many were blurry and not in focus and I found that I had often just missed the expression I had been trying to capture. The photo above was the only one that I was semi pleased with, and even it isn't exactly what I had had in mind.

These types of artistic funks are not anything new to me. I have always been a creative and have dealt with the frustrations that come when your vision is not quite expressed. It can feel maddening as if the idea is still stuck inside your mind but your skill is just not up to par to let it out. And truthfully, I have historically let these challenges hold me back. I retreat into the self-doubt and shame that they produce and feel myself believing that I'm just not good enough.

I don't know if it's because I've turned 30 or if it's because I became a mother last year, but something inside me is starting to fight back. I really want to handle these days, these seasons differently. They are part of the journey. In fact, they are part of everyone's journey! Even the most admired artists had a beginning. Just because I had a bad shoot with Emma this afternoon does not mean I'm doomed to be a terrible photographer. In fact, I want to use it so that it will insure I'm on the path to becoming a great photographer!

So, I'm not going to post a bunch of the bad pictures, but I do want to record what I learned from looking through them. After thinking about why they weren't successful, here are a few things I'll change:

Composition: I'm finding that I tend to get in real close for a tight crop. I don't always love this outcome though. I want to step back and leave a little more breathing room around my images. Even if I decide later to crop in a little closer, I'll have the freedom to do that.

Focus: My focus has gotten better now that I'm handling my camera better, but I still feel like it's a slow focus and not really very sharp. This bugs me.

ISO: I've been shooting on as low an ISO as I can, but I think I've been compromising my shutter speed too much – especially for capturing the quick movements of an active little one!

And as always, I want to continue experimenting with my angles and perspectives. I love to get closeup shots of her little face, but I want to also notice other details that will be special to me to remember in years to come.