Micah Duerr | Newborn Session

What an honor it was to photography baby Micah less than 48 hours after he was born. The Duerrs are dear friends of ours and actually they were the very first people to invite us over to their home when we moved here to Arizona. Over the past three years we've added a total of three kids to the mix and it's been so fun to live this same stage of life with them.

Melissa graciously allowed me to visit them in the hospital and it was such a sweet, tender time. I was completely smitten with sweet Micah; what a handsome little guy! And it was fun to get to hear his surprise birth story and remember with Melissa all the joys and challenges of these first hours. But honestly, is there anything more precious than a newborn baby? I can't think of one.

Finding My Style | A Photography Journal

One of my goals on this journey is to find my style. I don't know why, but thinking about this kind of makes me squirm. It feels vulnerable to put myself out there and say "this is my work!" and I think that's because I have a hard time separating my identity from what I produce. Of course I want my images to reflect my personality and style. I want them to be something that makes me proud! But I also want to remember I am not what I do, or what I make. I am a child of God. That's who I am because the creation cannot define the creator.

Discouragement | Photography Journal

Yesterday afternoon I got my camera out and was feeling so inspired by Emma's cuteness. How could I not? I started clicking away and really felt like I was getting into a good groove. I finished up and with excited anticipation I hurried to load my pictures onto the computer to see how they turned out. And as I was clicking through I just kind of became more and more disappointed. These were NOT how I had pictured the images in my head when I was taking them. So many were blurry and not in focus and I found that I had often just missed the expression I had been trying to capture. The photo above was the only one that I was semi pleased with, and even it isn't exactly what I had had in mind.

These types of artistic funks are not anything new to me. I have always been a creative and have dealt with the frustrations that come when your vision is not quite expressed. It can feel maddening as if the idea is still stuck inside your mind but your skill is just not up to par to let it out. And truthfully, I have historically let these challenges hold me back. I retreat into the self-doubt and shame that they produce and feel myself believing that I'm just not good enough.

I don't know if it's because I've turned 30 or if it's because I became a mother last year, but something inside me is starting to fight back. I really want to handle these days, these seasons differently. They are part of the journey. In fact, they are part of everyone's journey! Even the most admired artists had a beginning. Just because I had a bad shoot with Emma this afternoon does not mean I'm doomed to be a terrible photographer. In fact, I want to use it so that it will insure I'm on the path to becoming a great photographer!

So, I'm not going to post a bunch of the bad pictures, but I do want to record what I learned from looking through them. After thinking about why they weren't successful, here are a few things I'll change:

Composition: I'm finding that I tend to get in real close for a tight crop. I don't always love this outcome though. I want to step back and leave a little more breathing room around my images. Even if I decide later to crop in a little closer, I'll have the freedom to do that.

Focus: My focus has gotten better now that I'm handling my camera better, but I still feel like it's a slow focus and not really very sharp. This bugs me.

ISO: I've been shooting on as low an ISO as I can, but I think I've been compromising my shutter speed too much – especially for capturing the quick movements of an active little one!

And as always, I want to continue experimenting with my angles and perspectives. I love to get closeup shots of her little face, but I want to also notice other details that will be special to me to remember in years to come.

emma jane | 11 months

 

Happy 11 months, Emma Jane! This past month Emma went on vacation to Sedona with my side of the family, started pulling herself up to standing, and babbles "hi!" and "dada!" Some of her favorite things are puppies, dancing, and being tickled. Our sweet little darling girl; we love you so!

Bath Time | Photography Journal

Last night I decided to get my camera out for bath time since Paul was with us and could keep a close eye on Emma while she was in the water. I love to take photos of her in the tub not only because she's so adorable but also because I really like the white surround and there's a nice big window on one side to let in some lovely light.

One thing I'm trying to work on as I get used to using my manual controls is framing a successful layout. It's definitely easier to compose the photo when I'm posing people, but that's pretty much impossible with Emma so I'm learning to catch the shot moment by moment. It's not easy! I think as I go I'll get better at setting up the composition though. I'm also trying to challenge myself to take photos from different angles. I think these are the things that can make everyday images eye catching and special.

And as always, I'm working on my focus! Some of these are spot on and some of the focal points are just a little off. I'm finding that my camera doesn't hold the focus well if I select my focal point and then adjust my finder. It just readjusts the focus. I'm going to have to check that out in my settings and see if it's something that I can adjust.

These were taken close to sunset again so I used 1600 ISO, f/2 aperture and 1/125 exposure. I bumped my aperture from f/1.8 in hopes of keeping both of her eyes in focus no matter what angle she was looking.

Goals | September 2015

You will never change your life
until you change something you do daily.
John C. Maxwell

I have all these ideas and visions about who I want to be. And for so long they've been hanging around in the back of my mind, taunting me that I'll never change – I'll never grow. I pray for change, I pray for the Lord to change my heart and my motivations but to be honest, I very rarely put forth the effort. I don't even give him a chance to change me!

Lately I've been thinking about this idea that small changes over a period time result in big changes. I want my days and my time to matter. I want the things that I do to have a positive impact over the course of my life – not just on myself, but on Paul and on our family and the people I come in contact with. But when I'm not intentional with my time, I find that it easily just slips away.

And so this month I've decided to do something different. It's not revolutionary, at all. Many have and do do this, but for whatever reason, it never dawned on my to write down goals. There are actual steps I can take to walk towards the person I want to be someday. And it turns out I just don't naturally tend towards these things. So here I am. Month 1. Writing down goals. Asking Jesus to change my heart! Month by month, day by day, to change me.

September 2015
- read one book: How to Win Friends and Influence People
- put my cell phone away while Emma is awake
- stay on track with my read the Bible in a year schedule
- exercise twice a week
- photograph Melissa's baby in the hospital
- in bed by 10:30 on weeknights
- book 2 photography shoots for the fall
- plan Emma's 1st birthday party
- begin facilitating Financial Peace with Paul

Some of these are simple and some will be challenging for me. They represent a lot of different areas of my life that I'm excited to grow in discipline in: spiritual, health, wisdom, motherhood, photography, socially, marriage...

I am excited to see where this takes me and I'm laying all these things in the Lord's hands. I pray he will use them for good and for his glory as they develop in my life!

A Photography Journal

I'm really hoping to improve in my camera skills, so I've decided to start blogging again and use this as a sort of photography journal. Onto the next adventure!

These photos were taken this evening just before sunset. Since the light was fading fast I bumped my ISO up to 1600, aperture at f/1.8 and I kept my shutter speed right about 1/125 since my little Emma is always on the go! I tried to keep her right near the large sliding glass door with a window on one wall perpendicular. In the past, low light has always intimidated me (with good reason!) but now that I'm not afraid to raise my ISO, I'm finding I can get a lot better photos. They do look a bit more grainy, but I don't mind that much. The other issue I'm trying to remember is that when I shoot such a wide open aperture, it's hard to get both eyes in focus if my subject is on an angle. This top photo, both of Emma's eyes are pretty much in focus because they are on the same plane, but the bottom photo her right eye is crisp and her left eye is soft.