Pharisees, Mercy & Midnight Reflections

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep for a while. My mind started running and I couldn't shut it off. Finally I just decided to process some of the things I was thinking about, and used it as a time of prayer, reflection and listening.

It started the other day, when I was doing a little online cruising and came across an Etsy stationery and invitations shop that was blatantly stealing designs from Minted designers. I was shocked to see the obvious copies (sometimes not even changing the names on the samples) and disheartened to find that this seller had over 1000 sales. I contacted one of the Minted designers whom I had a connection with and whose designs were being ripped off, letting her know of the shop and asking what to do about it. I also spent some time reading designers forums only to find that this happens all too often, and it can be difficult to control.

So as I lay in bed last night, I started to get really mad about this. Why do people think it's okay to STEAL other peoples designs? I thought about how I would never do this, how shameful it is that others make a living off of it, and brainstormed how I could get these types of people "in trouble."

And then it hit me. It was the sermon I had heard on Sunday at church. It was a simple story, a simple message, but a powerful truth that really shook my heart in the wee hours of the morning.

We had read Luke 18:9-14 which is the parable of The Pharisee and the Tax Collector.

He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: "Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.' But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me, a sinner!' I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted."

In that moment, laying in the silence, I finally saw myself as the Pharisee. I know that it's the right answer to put ourselves in the place of the Pharisee, that our "good works" don't mean squat if we don't humble ourselves before a holy God and see our position and need for him. But last night I felt like I was praying that Pharisee prayer "Oh God, thank you so much much that I'm not like these other people. Wouldn't that be terrible if I was like them? They're so bad. Look at me though! I'm good!"

Gulp.

My mind flooded with sinful things I had done, said, and thought yesterday. Pretty quick, I was like "Oh Lord! Have mercy on me, a sinner!" And you know what? He does. He has mercy on me, because I deserve to be separated from Him. That was the fate that I chose in my sinning. But Jesus said to the crowd "this man went to his house justified...For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted." This sure is good news for me today!

Today my attitude has changed about the "copy-cat" designers. I still find it completely offensive and disheartening, but I no longer want to be the first to cast a stone at them. Instead saying a simple prayer that they would be humbled in their sin as they find mercy from a holy, loving God, and turn from their ways. And for myself? For myself I pray the exact same thing. Because my heart is so prone to wander and my sins are also many.